Being Out of Doors Increases Risk of Injury

Spending two hours a day outdoors increases your chance of being hit by a meteorite by over 50%, scientists at the Royal Academy of Loonies said today. "The longer you are outside, the greater the risk", said Prof. Igor Standandpeeski. They were also quick to add that "while staying indoors reduced the chance of being hit, it is by no means fail-safe". Senator Shilery, D-NY, immediately called for a full investigation by a Blue Ribbon commission. The Senator stated that, depending upon the findings of the commission, she was prepared to introduce legislation requiring all people to stay indoors at all times.